You are supposed to suffer!
Isn’t that the greatest thing you’ve ever heard?
Absolutely it is and let me share with you why.
Not why you suffer as that’s a longer conversation but…
That you are supposed to suffer, and why it’s the greatest thing you’ve heard, ever.
“Ah, more crazy talk from Emeric.”
But honestly, you are supposed to suffer…
…it’s built into your brain and into your life.
And recognizing this has the potential to be the most freeing message you might ever receive.
…if you realize you are created to suffer, and I don’t mean in, “The Gods are punishing you kind of way”.
I mean that, by being born you are going to suffer.
It’s part of being a human.
You see you’ve been arguing with and fighting against suffering for your entire life.
You may have been thinking something is wrong with you.
That you are defunct and broken.
You are not broken…
But what is even more beautiful and twisted is that by trying to escape your suffering you actually cause yourself more suffering.
Wrap your head around that statement.
Because we are playing with an explosive truth right now.
This is not something to just read and get a good laugh out of.
Even though it is absurd as truth often is.
How much suffering have you caused yourself by trying to escape your own suffering?
That’s some hardcore circularity in that question.
Welcome to the maze of your own creation, the mad house, the circus of suffering.
Take a look in the mirror because you have been the ringleader this entire time.
That personality, the ringleader, is not who you are, but you might not realize that just yet.
Soon you will.
We will talk more about this nefarious character that speaks in your voice, convincing you that it is you, and you that you are it.
It’s all in this months Guardian and the Guru.
You are the guru,
Nothing at all…
Nothing at all has changed to truly state the unstateable.
The confusion we believe to be our lives, is nothing more than life unfolding in a nothingness mess of messiness; all is well.
Nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to call you nor me, and certainly not a we.
But a wee bit about nothing much, has always told us something such.
For example, in 1647, a fabulous year for something, I am certain, the same suchness that plays out today, was such a thing as yesterday.
You do remember, don’t you, the time when you were told about that day when nothing much happened in 1647, during the month of May.
Nothing coming to mind…
Well nothing too much for you, nor for me, and certainly not for we.
What of them, whom I don’t know, you know those people who were doing nothing much other than what humans do, in a year much like twenty twenty two?
Eating, sleeping, dreaming, believing in such and such as we do, beings being beings just as in 2022…
Now 1647 is as random as 1711 or 322 or -464, which is certainly a year we all adore.
Surely you remember -464, the year of more is less and less is more. It was written somewhere, I am sure of it.
It doesn’t matter.
I was going on about nothing anyways.
There is alway nothing, as nothing appears to be something and something is certainly nothing more than something that was before.
It is in this way that nothing matters more and more.
Nothing is always becoming something.
And that is the beauty of nothing.
“I just don’t know and I am clear that I don’t know, and that is a world of difference from being confused.
I am not confused, I just don’t know”.
There have been a thousand and one times that I have known what I am doing, who I am being, and what I am up to.
And there have been a million more times when I’ve had no clue and it’s uncomfortable.
Isn’t that lovely.
But what I have noticed is that most people numb out their inner wisdom, so as not to hear any of the internal muck that is going on within.
But the thing is, the noise is still there.
It’s just covered with so much more noise and distraction that it never comes to surface, or rarely does but it is still acting upon them, creating an anxiousness.
It’s uncomfortable to say, “I don’t know what in the world I am doing”.
People want certainty in life.
People love wearing their uniforms and vocations.
We love to say, “I am a professor, entrepreneur, writer, artist, student, coach, scientist, explorer, traveler, PhD, real estate developer, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband to, wife of… I am something goddamit!”
People want to be able to call you a name, label you, and we want that same thing for ourselves and others as well.
It’s quite human.
And that aspect of our human-ness is often difficult to deal with, ‘not knowing’.
That is why we tell lies to ourselves.
Said in a more pleasurable way, “we are playing a gargantuan game of make believe, but we often don’t realize it, so we must make everything seem sensible, by making up stories, to make what we are doing appear to be reasonable and sane”.
It’s not that we are lying to ourselves, but it is.
In fact, we are always creating reasons for the reasons that we are doing whatever it is we may be doing.
It’s terribly difficult just to do what you do without there ‘needing’ to be a reason or explanation.
It’s like you can’t go for a stroll just because.
No, it has to be “I am going for a stroll because I need to relax and let go, to take a break from blah blah blah”.
It’s as if everything has to be justified, otherwise, you feel guilty about it, like you are wasting time..
When was the last time you did something just for Shits and Giggles?
Try it on and see what happens.
Do things for a while without them having to be a means to an end to something else.
It’s incredibly freeing.
But watch out because you might start dropping your incessant need to justify everything you do, even to yourself.
Professor Emeric Damian Thorpe,
You are a badass. You have made choices. You will make more choices. Your choosing is your freedom.
I believe in you and I am certain you can, if you choose to. It’s beautiful to be, to be you, to be you as you are or as you wish to be.
Let’s take a look at what has the power to transform you, the looking.
The looking into your eyes, while being with that which you want to create, with that which you are creating while keeping a continual focus on being with it…
It’s not about the goals, the tactics, the plans, the little this and that, even though those matter.
It’s about being with the vision you desire more often than not.
There’s a hiccup in this thinking because none of us know exactly how that vision is going to be delivered into our world.
Thus we have expectations about how it will be and if it isn’t how we expected it to be, our eyes often go blind to the joy before us.
I watched one of my clients prove this to herself over and over, but then, as we all do, she would go to sleep and lose awareness of the wonder that lives in the pursuit of her sincere desires.
No mater how much we strategise or think we should do something, it ends up being that life delivers continual gifts and unplanned presents upon the path that is pulling you toward your destination.
As she took to creating what she wanted, she would suddenly be surprised by a connection that came out of nowhere, a synchornicity, and then another connection, and then another.
They could not have been put on a schedule, or built into a business plan.
They are gifts of the mystery of being in motion toward your vision.
But we forget that and start polluting the path with doubt, with insincerity, with neediness, with inaction.
Which gives rise to our transgressions, to focusing on our conceived weaknesses and our past pissy-ness and sour memories.
And we are terribly biased toward our crap, the negative happenings, days filling up thinking about and amplifying the poopy parts of our life, pushing them into our not yet imaginary future.
Our minds, like pigeons in a park dining on peach pie, shitting on everything…
I do love pie… Apple pie…
Future envisioning, planning and plotting, running into the mystery, into the unknown, free from the dragging thoughts of the past and free from anxiety about the future, are the most enjoyable play to participate in.
It’s the most challenging thing to do.
Being with your thoughts, your creating energies, your sincere desires is not easy, even though it feels like it should be.
To imagine the future, to put your mind forward into the unknown and then pursue it with vigor, with certainty, with a mind that is All-In, a mind that refuses to accept any other narrative, well, that is a kind of madness, isn’t it.
Yet, we all know what a beautiful expression it is to live as such.
It takes training; it means creating yourself as the person who is that.
That is who you ‘Be’ in the world.
It’s an every day affair.
I call it an Encounter.
An Encounter with who you are CHOOSING to Be.
There is not truth here, no path to follow, or way to be.
It’s an invitation to listen differently, to your world, inside and out.
Maybe there is something in you that recognizes what I am saying.
You will feel what is true in this for yourself or you won’t.
It’s worthy of exploration, of experimenting with.
Who do you choose to be as you pursue what you choose to pursue?
To being a paradox of power,
It can be powerful to focus for a moment on how terrible your future will be if you don’t do the things you say you must do.
It has potential to be a strong motivator.
As you know, the mind will throw nasty thoughts at you, thoughts about the past and you will believe them.
Now you get to train your attention. Now you have an opportunity to choose to treat yourself in that moment with kindness, ill will, love, appreciation, or a simple neutrality; this matters more than what the mind is tricking you with.
Imagine having gratitude for the nightmares that the mind presents to you.
There is some biological imperative for this negative talk, some self preservation that is taking place here.
Nonetheless, for most people I have found their greatest desire is not just about creating an end result; it’s about who they are being while creating a future that excites them, that turns them on.
In truth that is the greatest adventure of them all, and it is often hidden behind all the things think we want or don’t want…
Your relationship with yourself now, in this moment, this NOW, is always what matters most.
You can go after anything and get it or not, create it or not, attain it or not, and do so in a way that satisfies you deeply no matter what.
To me, that is always the sincere desire.
Time for a walk in the valley of trees, as I have written enough in this moment. ( a picture of one of my many paths in life )
What I am going to say, what I wish to share with you, if I do my job well, will transform your relationship to everything, to your life, to your self, and thus with other humans and non-human animals alike.
It’s a grand statement to make, because it is a lie.
I can’t transform your life, though I can.
These words are for you to discover for yourself, what I know to be absolutely so.
But my knowing, my experience, is mine.
You must find out for yourself.
Here it is as plain as I can say it.
“You create others by the way you listen to them and thus, you create yourself as well.”
“The way you listen, is your way of speaking, both with words and without.”
“You can listen to another as you already believe them to be, whether they are or aren’t as you believe; you can listen for something you wish might be so, whether it is or isn’t; you can listen to the possibility of life unfolding in a mysterious beautiful way; you can listen to another and create them as you listen. Mirror mirror on the wall…”
The way you listen to yourself, will create your relationship with yourself, and your relationship with your self, is the only relationship you will ever have, the only relationship you can ever have, even as you are in relation to others, as others are always you.
That last paragraph…
You see, I said I would give it to you simple and as straight as I can, but then, it just flows from me, as if it’s not me, speaking through me.
You know me well enough to know, what is easy to say, to do, to live, is never simple, as easy is too simple and simple is too easy, so we must make it more complex.
Let me put it differently.
Tonight I was in conversation with a few coaches, life coaches, spiritual coaches, coaches’s coaches.
And a question came up, something like, “What bells and notifications usually go off in your mind, when you are listening to your clients? What are you listening for?”
…and the answers varied…
…but they were in rough alignment, all along the lines of, we listen for “false assumptions, limiting beliefs, negative self talk, judgements of others, worry, misplaced anxiety… etc..”
These are all goods things to be aware of, indeed and I will point these things out too, but none of these can ever be what we should be listening for.
Do you known why?
We are going to find what we listen for, even if it may not be there, even if it is, even though it may simply disappear upon listening.
And I share this with you because, what was implicit, in what they were sharing, is one of the things I find most deplorable in relationships, even though it can be absolutely helpful to attend to, yet, it’s deplorable to me, when people are listening for other peoples ‘garbage’, ‘foibles’, ‘hypocrisy’, ‘poopy doopy’, and crap.
It’s like everyone is playing a game of “GOTCHA! You fucked up and now I am going to tell you all about how shitty you are, how incapable, how lazy, how narcissistic, how overbearing, how sad…” Whatever it may be.
Listening is the most difficult thing to do, so deaf we are. It’s easy and that’s what makes it so hard.
My profession, you see, is an art form, because I have to be aware of everything I have shared with you above; yet, it’s not what I listen for, ever, even though at times I have, so guilty I am, of everything that one might be guilty of, so hyperbolic and dramatic I can be, forgive me.
What I listen for, even in my imperfection, is the beautiful realizations that you will have when you start listening to yourself, and then when you listen to yourself again, but with a different mind for hearing, sensing, feeling, and loving what it is that is flowing through you, and then when you listen again, knowing that the way you listen is the way you create, as your listening is speaking your being, into being who you are.
That is why I listen to you as the possibility you posses even though you may not know it.
However, what I primarily listen for is the experience of you discovering how unnecessary it is for you to be anything other than you are, as you are in this moment right now.
It’s the greatest experience to experience… Once you get that… Then the pleasures of listening shift again.
…as you create from that space of needing nothing, while having it all, as you wish…
That is my great gift in life, to listen to all of it, to hear the mystery, to allow for grace, to embrace the emptiness and meaninglessness that threads through life…
And then to turn around and reflect back to all of those who are near and far, the serenity of simply being.
It’s easy, which is why it’s not simple, nor hard, nor complex, nor easy…
Hugs and love you sexy gorgeous human being,
May you have what you want in life and may what you want in life be in alignment with your highest values, and may you thus be fulfilled in having what you want.